If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
