Can Purell be used as lube?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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