he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We left the knife in your bed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
