I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I would fuck him just for his dog
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
