No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
