We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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