If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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