heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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