We're like a lot better than the average bears
i think i have herpe
just one?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
