Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
