If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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