similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
