My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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