she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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