he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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