You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
