Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
