wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
