Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
