I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
