My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Ladies don't puke and tell
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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