So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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