??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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