I'm so fucking centered right now
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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