The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
