I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
