I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
