You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am available for nakedness
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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