I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
