You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
