i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
