? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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