he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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