yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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