Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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