i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize