I hate all girls vehemently.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
