I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
