Sorry, I don't speak sober.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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