I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
