fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
