Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
