It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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