My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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