that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize