Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
