youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
