We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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