He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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