O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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