She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
