im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
