ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize