"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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