3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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