he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
