do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize