she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
