She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
