Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
