I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
