Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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